The Stress Free Way to Run a Business as a Single Mum

The benefits of running your own business seem so clear: be your own boss, do what you love and have a job that works round family life.

If, like me, you are a single parent it just makes sense. Particularly if you are the one who shoulders the bulk of the childcare.

While it gives you flexibility, (being there to pick up and drop off at school, or work from home when they are ill) the challenges are real. If you have to take time off when you or the kids are ill, you don’t want your business to suffer. Or you are run ragged trying to fit everything in. It’s not easy to strike a balance with so much going on.

This is my quick guide on how to run a business as a single parent and stay positive, happy and stress-free. I’m aiming this article at single mums, but really it could be for dads too. I just have more insight into being a single ‘momtrepreneur’ (ideas for a UK version of this welcome).

9 things to consider

1. Have a routine

Disclaimer: I am not naturally organised, but I have learned this skill out of necessity, i.e. having a family to raise. There are things we all have to do at home everyday – get up, get dressed, eat, sleep etc. There are things we have to do at work everyday. In both worlds if you have a routine these activities become second nature, thus using less mental energy. Save your juiciest brain power for more important things. The internet abounds with info on how to get organised at home and work, so I won’t re-invent the wheel.

Just know that planning my day, week, month, projects has made my life so much simpler. Start here: www.flylady.net.

2. Set realistic expectations

Sure have a plan, but don’t make it overly complicated or stuff your day with loads of scheduled activities. You might think you can drop the kids off, go to work, do the week’s shopping before picking them up again, prepare a home cooked meal, go out again for cub scouts… Take a leaf out of your kids’ book. Less is actually more when it comes to children. They don’t see slashing ten things off the to do list, having a tidy home and still having time to learn a new skill as a badge of honour. They are still in the kid world where there is no such thing as time and doing ‘nothing’ is fine. So don’t try to ‘do it all’ and more importantly…

3. Have fun!

Easy to say when you have real problems like making money to put food on the table, but the benefits of play are well researched. Take time out to have fun and it will enhance your working life. When you are struggling remember that the kids won’t be small forever. They will grow up, and your business will grow too. Try and have some fun along the way.

4. Get help

Please ask for help. I’ll say it again: Please ask for help. Do you have a friend, neighbour? Friend of a friend? Ask around. I know full well how hard it is, but it’s essential. Most people will love to help so potentially you’ll be making them happy. Win win! Just don’t draw on the same source every time, or they might hide when they see you coming. When I feel bad about asking for help, I think: ‘it’s for the kids. How can I be the best parent if I’m stretched to the limit?’ How can I be the best in my business?

5. Prioritise self care.

I was a stay at home mum for a number of years. I now have the bonus of spending my day doing grown-up, interesting things. The disadvantage is that tasks like laundry and housework slide. But I still make time for me: I go to a weekly exercise class. I get the kids into bed early (see above re: routine). Do something that’s just for you. (e.g. bubble bath, quiet cuppa: crap telly, glass of wine and a hot water bottle…) It’s far better to tackle jobs from a place of calm and energy than frazzled and resentful, which is what you will be if you never take a break. You are less likely to take sick days too if you look after yourself.

6. Leave work behind

At the end of the working day and you get home, be present. I know your mind is buzzing with the million tasks on your work to do list, but let it go for now (at least until bedtime). And if you really have important work to do, but have no childcare, do what you have to do in order to get that hours peace. You know That thing you vowed you’d never abuse. Switch it on, let the warm glow light up their cherubic faces and crack on without a second thought, guilt free. Which leads us onto…

7. Drop the guilt

Whatever you are feeling guilty about just stop. Remember why it’s all worth it: you love your kids, you love your business. This is your life and you know what you’re doing.

8. Build your community.

In your business it’s important to network. Use the same skills in your personal life. Find your people. Luckily having young kids means you have access to other parents you can be chums with. If this is an area you struggle with, and I know how it can feel awkward to make the first move, be brave and approach another parent who looks cool. Get some play dates arranged for the weekends you have the children (if you have a co-parent) or invite the mums round for drinks when you are free. Also consider community groups, music, sports, church, voluntary organisations: anything that interests you. It can take time. If you haven’t got a strong network around you start building it today.

9. Hire a cleaner.

Yes. Hire a cleaner. You will be helping another person in business, more than likely another woman. People can’t believe when I say I hire a cleaner (particularly because to start with I was really just scraping by). But it’s cheaper than therapy, which you will need if you try and do everything yourself.

Outsource any other tasks. Being self-employed invariably means wearing many different hats. That is draining. For example: Need a website? Get a web designer. Upfront it may feel like a big cost, but long term it will save you time and energy (unless you are a web designer, in which case go right ahead).

So many people struggle to write their own copy, when a professional copywriter can do a phenomenal job in jig time. See how I can lighten your burden today.

Let me know if you have any more suggestions in the comments below.

Rachel